A year ago tonight my mother was in the next bedroom on hospice, but that didn't stop her from celebrating New Year's Eve! A transplanted New Yorker, she stayed up for the Times Square ball drop and for the Hollywood after-party. In fact, at 6 a.m. on New Year's Day, I went in to kiss her Good Morning, and somehow she was still awake watching TV with a big smile on her face and melted chocolate on her hands -- how had she reached the chocolate box?
As you care for your aging loved one in 2011, here are 7 things to stop and do:
1. Chronicle the ordinary moments of your journey in a journal or on Facebook or your own blog. The extraordinary moments like holidays are easy to write about, but look for the joys and blessings in the moments where you are just gazing at your dad, grateful he's still with you, or hearing your Mom ask you the same question for the third time. There will come a day when you wish you could still hear her voice. Write down the things your parents say; they will comfort you one day.
2. Take photos. It's easy now with a cell or I-Phone. When I'm waiting in line, I love flipping through the images of my Mom that I captured along the way.
3. Record Mom or Dad's voice. Turn on a microcassette recorder or a Flipcam. Just let it run for an hour while you're spending relaxed time with your parent. When the special moments come, there's no time to run find the recorder. Let it roll and watch what happens!
4. Know that your doing the most important thing in this season of your life: loving your parents during what is probably the hardest time of their lives.
5. Smile. You can melt your dad's heart.
6. Greet someone else's parent at the doctor's office or in the nursing home. A few moments of your time might mean everything to someone whose children live far away.
7. Stop and think: This, too, shall pass. The difficulties you are facing will not last forever, but neither will this precious time. Don't let anxiety about caring for your parents steal your joy. Treat each moment you share with Mom or Dad as sacred.
