So, it's been kind of a surreal month. My mother has been gone for one month tomorrow. Daddy went to be with the Lord 11 years ago tomorrow. And they would have celebrated their 50th anniversary this week. And I find myself looking for a red-haired miniature poodle to love. Didn't know they came in red. But I've also learned how lonely my mother must have been after my Daddy passed away -- and too stoic to tell anyone. Also, explains all those QVC purchases. My estate has significantly contributed to Melissa Rivers' estate!
But it's trying to find a life for yourself after you spend all that time caring for your loved one and then they are gone. Easier for me, I'm younger and have work I love and a gracious husband. But without children, filling those suddenly open hours is a fascinating challenge. First the shock and adrenalin, then the weeping tsunami, then the gee, what exactly do I do with my life now.
I found my Mother got a passport shortly after my Dad passed away. They had traveled so much together in their early years. But it made me sad. She never went anywhere with the new passport. Never even mentioned getting it. Where was she dreaming of going?
My friends have been loving and incredibly supportive, and I am blessed and grateful. But every day the answer to the how are you doing question changes. I find that's an evolving and unpredictable experience.
Blessings, Jane Allison
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