How to Love the Seniors in Your Life

Caring for our elder loved ones is a process of observing them every step of the journey. Remember, though difficult at times, this can be a very blessed and often poignant experience if you can hold on and stay the course. Keep these three steps in mind to guide you as you care for Mom or Dad: A-C-I -- Assessment, Cost and Impact. Today we’ll look at Step 1, Assessment.

When you begin to notice changes in your folks, that’s the first red flag telling you to figure out where they are -- mentally, physically, and emotionally. Pay attention. If Mom’s suddenly not as strong as she was, seems to be forgetting things, or appears depressed, now is the time to take action. It may be as simple as getting household help once or twice a week, if mowing the lawn or cleaning house is becoming a burden.

If you’re worried your parents are not taking their medications, that’s a more serious step. You might look for a professional caregiver by calling a home health agency that can send a certified individual to help remind them to take their medications. When looking for a good home health agency, your best option is to look for a Medicare-certified home health provider. These are folks who answer to the federal government in terms of being heavily regulated to have the highest standards in delivering care. Certified home health agencies provide the services of skilled nurses, physical, occupational, and speech therapists, and home health aides to help you and your family meet your parents’ needs.

If you need help assessing where your parents are, schedule an appointment with Mom or Dad's primary care physician and accompany them to the doctor’s visit. Be ready for a possible reaction of denial from Mom or Dad. Every family is different, and some parents welcome the help; others, if they feel they are declining but don’t want to acknowledge it, may fight your suggestion that they go to the doctor.

This is where you have to be both insistent and persistent. If you don’t get help, things will only get worse for your parents and for you, unless you choose to walk away, and in my book, that's never an option.

Assess, assess, assess. Ask questions. Next time we’ll discuss the cost of caring for your loved ones and how to prepare financially before you face the challenge.

Cutting-edge Technology Helping Seniors at Home

Here's a great idea -- bring the hospital monitoring equipment home with you. The microchip company Intel has come out with a new (and user-friendly size, not surprising) monitor that allows a patient to go home from the hospital and still have their vital signs monitored 24 hours a day. Nightingale/Aspire Home Healthcare is the first company to offer these units to its patients across the country. Not only can the machine monitor vital signs, but it can also custom-program rehabilitation exercises, replacing those stick figures the doctors always give us, for days when the physical therapist doesn't visit. To see a demonstration of this cool technology, click here and then click on the Fox News video.

Just Interviewed on KMOX, St. Louis

Interview went great, thank you to our gracious host. We talked in depth about seniors and those of us caring for them. We covered in detail my three points: ACI -- Assessment, Cost, and Impact, which must be consistently monitored along the journey. Here's a link to the full interview. Click Here

Have a great night, St. Louis, and watch out for those rainstorms!

Mother's Day in Retrospect

Everyone said last Sunday, Mother's Day, would be a hard day to get through. To me for the last four years, every day has been Mother's Day! So, I wasn't sure how I would be affected by everyone celebrating. I hibernated in the house for a little while, still mourning and wishing I could go in and give my Mom a big kiss and say Happy Mother's Day. Then I started watching the "Mother of a Day" Marathon of movies on Lifetime. Chick flicks -- me, who would be embarrassed to say I liked a chick flick. But there was something affirming about the movies I saw, the relationships between mothers and sons and daughters, the poignancy of love and loss and finding the strength to move on.

I found myself celebrating the life of my Mother and all the wonderful strengths she had, the things she had taught me, and the beautiful times we had together particularly in the last nine months when I was caring for her at home. It was a time to celebrate her not suffering anymore, being grateful that she had gone to be with the Lord peacefully, that I was there with her that last night, and recognizing that she had raised me to be strong enough to move forward even without her.

The photo here may seem strange, but it's precious to me, and it's perfect for Mother's Day. Those are our Shires, they have fancy names, but we call them Mommy (on the right) and Baby. They've been with us since Baby was born, and there's no doubt they enjoy each other the way no two other horses do. Mommy pokes at Baby when she's naughty. Scratches Baby's back when it itches. Mommy lies down to rest, and Baby stands watching over her.

I always dreaded the day my Mother would be gone. But Mother's Day was a happy day, a time for gratitude and love, a time to celebrate life and the importance of taking the time to love the ones dearest to us while they're with us. I had done the best I could to love my Mom to the end, now it was time to move on and help others on that same journey.