How to Love the Seniors in Your Life

Caring for our elder loved ones is a process of observing them every step of the journey. Remember, though difficult at times, this can be a very blessed and often poignant experience if you can hold on and stay the course. Keep these three steps in mind to guide you as you care for Mom or Dad: A-C-I -- Assessment, Cost and Impact. Today we’ll look at Step 1, Assessment.

When you begin to notice changes in your folks, that’s the first red flag telling you to figure out where they are -- mentally, physically, and emotionally. Pay attention. If Mom’s suddenly not as strong as she was, seems to be forgetting things, or appears depressed, now is the time to take action. It may be as simple as getting household help once or twice a week, if mowing the lawn or cleaning house is becoming a burden.

If you’re worried your parents are not taking their medications, that’s a more serious step. You might look for a professional caregiver by calling a home health agency that can send a certified individual to help remind them to take their medications. When looking for a good home health agency, your best option is to look for a Medicare-certified home health provider. These are folks who answer to the federal government in terms of being heavily regulated to have the highest standards in delivering care. Certified home health agencies provide the services of skilled nurses, physical, occupational, and speech therapists, and home health aides to help you and your family meet your parents’ needs.

If you need help assessing where your parents are, schedule an appointment with Mom or Dad's primary care physician and accompany them to the doctor’s visit. Be ready for a possible reaction of denial from Mom or Dad. Every family is different, and some parents welcome the help; others, if they feel they are declining but don’t want to acknowledge it, may fight your suggestion that they go to the doctor.

This is where you have to be both insistent and persistent. If you don’t get help, things will only get worse for your parents and for you, unless you choose to walk away, and in my book, that's never an option.

Assess, assess, assess. Ask questions. Next time we’ll discuss the cost of caring for your loved ones and how to prepare financially before you face the challenge.