You want to care for you Mom or Dad as they age. You think bringing them into your home may be the best solution.
For some families, three generations living together, if you still have children at home, can be a wonderful arrangement. We've talked about how that can work. Let's talk about when it can't.
Last week during an interview I was asked, "What happens when your spouse doesn't get along with your parents? How do you bring them into your home then?" Great question, simple answer: Maybe you don't.
First and foremost along this journey you want to protect your own nuclear family, your marriage and raising your children. If bringing Mom or Dad into your home is going to have a significantly negative impact on either relationship, and there's no way around that, counseling, strategies, etc., don't waste your time going there.
You still have a duty to your parents, in my opinion. But not to the point where you start risking your other family obligations. Your goal is to do the best caring and managing of your parents as you can in your particular circumstances. Marriage or kids, for me, is not an excuse to not do your best for your folks. It is a question of balance.
SOLUTIONS: Can Mom or Dad take out a reverse mortgage and live at home with caregivers that you oversee, perhaps together with your siblings, checking in on the situation consistently?
Can Mom or Dad sell their house and with the sales proceeds move into a great independent or assisted living facility close to you or your siblings, using the money from the sale of the house wisely. Remember, money goes very quickly in healthcare. There are resources here at loveyourparents.com about how to find a great assisted living facility.
The key is matching the right elder care strategies to your individual family circumstances. We're here to help!
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